5 Things I Want to Tell New Parents
- on September 25, 2014
There are so many things that I wish someone had told me when I first became a mom, and I’m not talking about which diapers to use or which baby carrier is the best. I read enough reviews to figure that stuff out. The things I needed to know were the things that nobody says. These are the things that parents are afraid to admit because they think people will judge them or call them lousy parents.
But you know what? I’m going to be the one to say it. I know that I’m a good (enough) mom. I love my kids with every inch of my being and I try my hardest to do my best. That’s really all I can be. I’m not Beyonce. I’m not June Cleaver. I’m me. That’s all I can be to my kids. I will also be sure to pay their therapy bills later. See? We’re covered.
Without any further delay, here are the things I wish someone would have just come out and said to me:
Some days you won’t like your kids. Yep. I know to you new moms and dads out there, this sounds awful, but trust me, the day will come. You’ll still love them to the depths of your soul, but there will be days when you’ll entertain the idea of shipping them off far, far away even for just a couple hours.
You will question whether or not you’re screwing this whole thing up. Join the club. We all have moments when we are positive that we are doing the whole parenting thing wrong. ALL OF US. Don’t stress. Tomorrow is a new day and a new chance to try again. And even if you screw up again, recite this in your head. It helps: http://wellcommons.com/users/photos/2...
You’ll miss your child-free days. This won’t be every day. It probably won’t even be very often, but there will come a time (or several) when your friends without kids will tell you about an amazing show they saw or a concert followed by a late dinner and night of exploring the city. And you’ll have a serious case of FOMO (Fear Of Missing Out, for the Google-impaired). You may not want to trade your days of Peppa Pig and Dora the Explorer, but you’ll still miss those carefree days when you were sleep deprived because of fun, not crying, tiny humans.
There will be days when you don’t recognize yourself. Becoming a parent is one of the biggest changes you’ll experience. Duh, right? You go from being just you to being someone’s mom or dad. Every step and misstep you take is being watched and evaluated by very impressionable people. Things that used to be incredibly important to you will become trivial or even forgotten. You will shift. You will adapt. You will still be you...even if you can’t see yourself just yet. Just hold up. You’re still there.
You will be scared of EVERYTHING. Ebola outbreaks, gunmen in schools, rises in Autism diagnoses, severe weather alerts and salmonella in peanut butter used to just be concerning headlines in the news. Now that you’re a parent, they are things that could potentially happen to your family. Every story of a child with cancer makes you picture your child in that scenario. Every headline you read will feel like it’s happening to you, specifically. Protecting and caring for your children is hard. This world sure doesn’t cut us any slack either. As much as you want to put your kids in a bubble, don’t. That will only make them weird.
When you’re chest deep in this new parenting gig of yours, I promise, the good will completely outweigh all of this crazy. Hearing your baby giggle for the first time will make you wonder how you were ever happy before this tiny creature was created. It’s a giddy, stressful, exhausting, beautiful, and educational time. Don’t worry, we all got your back. (Unless we need you to have ours right now because our kid just broke something expensive.)