They invented the holidays to make me feel like a bad mother.

All this time I thought it was all about religion, or community, or giving, or sharing, or drunken work parties, but I was wrong. It's just all a big plot to make me feel inadequate. Will I make enough treats for friends, co workers, neighbors? Will I buy everyone just the right thoughful gift? Will I have time to order and mail Christmas cards to everyone we ever met and their grandparents? Will I have time to make little crafty ornaments for my girlfriends, and bring a special and unique side dish to every holiday party I attend?

And that is all just the usual stuff. It doesn't have anything to do with my mothering skills. For example, I made all the holiday cookies because IT IS MY WOMANLY DUTY, and now my baby is consuming frosted sugar cookies for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. Stop judging me. He's very persuasive. I am trying to sneak in an oatmeal craisin cookie here and there because it's a "healthy" option.

And there's the gift thing. It's bad enough this year, and I'm sure it's only going to get exponentially worse as the years wear on. This year, it's my guilt over not buying him stuff. In the future, it will either be guilt over buying him too much stuff, or over buying him the wrong stuff, or not being able to afford the iPad equivalent of the future. I'm already overwhelmed about what I'll buy my kid when he's fourteen. I need help.

I decided this year that since Johnny is only fifteen months old, he doesn't really need big fancy Christmas presents.

A) My son doesn't know what Christmas is. B) My son doesn't know what a garage sale is. C) My son thinks a Pottery Barn magazine is the best present ever. D) My son thinks a Duplo block is a phone. ("Hi... hi. HI HI HI.")

I bought an (adorable, wooden, high-dollar) kitchen set from a friend at her garage sale last summer and left it at another friend's house for her daughter to use because Johnny was way too young for it then. I have noticed that he likes the kitchen set at daycare, so it's time to bring ours home. VOILA. SANTA. It all makes perfect sense, especially given HE DOESN'T EVEN KNOW ABOUT CHRISTMAS YET.

But, I have a nagging feeling that I am a total a-hole of a parent, for pulling this gift charade over on my unsuspecting baby. Will I have to tell him one day that Santa brought him a used refrigerator for his second Christmas? Will he hate me for it later, and tell his therapist about it?

My son has very few things that have come to him shiny and new. Which is great. Reduce, reuse, recycle. Cheap. I love it all. But, sometimes is something new worth it? If so, when? Or, is it a good message to him? Shall I raise him on garage sale Christmases, so he learns to respect items and money and value?

I don't know the answer to this. Truly, the question is too difficult. I think I'll go back to worrying about the sugar cookie problem. And I'm going to start believing in you-know-who again, and hope that the man in red can solve my future gifting dilemmas. It seems as good a solution as any.

Anyway, Happiest Holidays from our house to yours.

Peace on Earth by meganstuke