A vendor stopped by my office today to drop off a holiday gift for our office, and I asked her about her new baby. She whipped a picture out of her binder and we got to discussing how cute he is. And for real, he is really really cute.
She looked up and saw this picture of my son on my wall and the gushing re-commenced.
Johnny and the sunflowers by meganstuke
(photo by Trina Baker of Gallery32)
This led us to a lengthy conversation about how we know we're biased about our own kids, but we are pretty sure they really are that cute. It's not just us, right? I mean, we just have really exceptionally cute babies. It's empirical. It's not bias, it's just true, like it's just true that caramel is better than chocolate, and Stevie Nicks has unquestionably the best female singing voice ever, and Three and a Half Men is the stupidest show on TV.
We also discussed how it is probably some sort of biological imperative that we all believe our children to be beautiful and amazing, even after they come through the birth canal and have pointy heads and are bruised up little pooping, crying versions of Ed Asner. Because if we didn't think they were so beautiful and special, we'd maybe not be so interested in keeping up with their tyrannical schedules and all of the bodily fluids on a regular basis.
I have been trying to get more humble in regard to my son. Like, I'm trying to stop telling people (be they parents or not) that I have the "best one ever," and meaning it. But dang if every time someone sees my son or a photo of him and says something to the effect of, "Oh he sure is cute," I don't just pop off with a very smug, "I know, right? I mean, he really really is." I don't mean to be that mother. I just can't lie about it. He is cute. REALLY REALLY CUTE.
But still, it seems like a little bit of humility is in order. Maybe I should just say "Yeah, he's alright," and shrug. Or maybe I could say, "Well, people tend to say that, but I just don't see it." Or what if I just didn't speak at all? When they compliment him, I could just stand stock still and not move a muscle.
I have friends who can now look back at their older childrens' newborn photos and say "Yeah, she looked kinda like The Grinch when she was born, didn't she?" But I am not there yet. I still think Johnny was the most splendid-looking human ever born, even moments after he entered the world. I kinda don't think I'll ever get there. BECAUSE HE WAS.
No, I'm not taking any medication. Why do you ask?
So I ask you, fellow parents. What do you think? Should we all be humble about our children? Or should we just be proudly running around with the idea in our heads that we got the very best one and sorry for the rest of you suckers?
Is it inappropriate to agree heartily with people who compliment your toddler on his adorableness? Am I committing some terrible, neurotic social faux-pas? Is there a 12 step group for this? Can I be trained out of this belief like they train people out of cults?
Comments
thebcman (anonymous) says…
Stevie Nicks? Oh jeez .. she sounds like a bleating lamb in heat. Try Sandy Denny, Jacqui McShee, Maddy Prior, early Grace Slick, Karen Carpenter, Aretha Franklin, Gladys Knight, Linda Ronstadt, Barbra Streisand, Dionne Warwick, Ella Fitzgerald, Billie Holiday, Natalie Cole, Lena Horne, Peggy Lee, Petula Clark, Tina Turner, Joan Baez, Judy Garland, Margo Timmins, Sarah Maclachlan, Dusty Springfield, Annie Lennox, Tori Amos, Diana Ross, Brenda Lee, Connie Francis, Julie Andrews, Carly Simon, Roberta Flack, Patsy Cline, Deborah Harry, Judy Collins, Tammy Wynette, Florence Welch ... anybody but Stevie.
kef104 (anonymous) says…
I hate to tell you this, but based on your opinions of candy, music, and sitcoms, you may have a rather ugly child. I'd keep hanging on to those pre-done photos that come with picture frames.
More seriously, he is a cutie. But then so is my son, and no, I am not biased, really. Did I mention he was fairly intelligent as well? Must be something in the local water.
kef104 (anonymous) says…
To actually answer your question. When my son elicits comments I usually simply say "Thank you." If they continue with the compliments, I will add something like "while there are no guarantees for the future, we've been pretty lucky so far, he's a real sweetie." Last month, a complimentary Hy-Vee employee was shocked to find out my son was barely 4 1/2 when she heard him ask me if the display muffins "were inedible." When I confirmed they were not something he would want to eat, he then asked "Are they unpalatable?" He enjoys learning new words and was speaking with adult syntax at 21 months. Yet, true to his age he still makes poopie jokes and has plenty of immature moments.
If your opinion of Johnny is based on anything close to reality, you are fine. You want Johnny to develop a positive self image based on actual traits and accomplishments and agreeing with unsolicited compliments strengthens Johnny's self image. Besides, can you image how miserable it could be to sit in the smoke filled basement of a church, chugging coffee, and being rewarded to relate horrible stories about your child? The very thought gives me the chills.
RoeDapple (anonymous) says…
Yeah, yeah, He's a good lookin' young man alright. But then you haven't seen MY granddaughter!